Thoughts on going home...

So, I finally made a decision (well I really made the decision like 3 weeks ago, but I am really bad at maintaining this thing) that I am going home in August. I am leaving Dublin on August 7th, and I am homeward bound.

God is leading me into such a different season of my life. A season where I need to trust Him in going to school and living in Regina for a while, and not on the front lines of missions but at the same time always in a state of ministry with those around me. I catch myself saying that it will be different ''not ministering'' for a while. But actually, I will never ''not be ministering'' because my definition of ministry is so broad. Sharing about Jesus is ministry and there will never be a point where I don't do that. Where I don't share my faith with someone, because it is who I am.

There are a lot of factors that came into my decision to go home and go to school for a while...Some I would rather admit did not influence me, but it would be a lie if I said that certain things had no influence.

Like the fact that this year took a lot out of me. I battled with things I never thought I would, and I know it is good because I am learning and growing, but it does not change the fact that when I do get on the plane to go home, I will be exhausted and some what relieved to enter a sanctuary with God.

I have felt for a while that my priorities are messed up when it comes to God, family and ministry. For so long I have been choosing ministry in an attempt to fix my walk with God. That has never been what ministry was intended for and I am quickly learning that lesson the hard way. God needs to be first and He is taking away everything in my life that is before Him. I am stubborn so I fight him on this from time to time, but in the end, all I can really do is surrender. In the end, all any of us can really do is surrender.

I am going to school because I want to make a bigger difference in the world I see around me. There is nothing worse than seeing a need and not being able to do anything about it. Don't get me wrong, I believe prayer and love are two of the most important things I can do to help and I am trying my best to do those. But I also want training behind me to really make a difference, to get people out of the situations they are in and show them that someone cares enough to change their circumstances. So that's why I have also chosen Social Work.

So, yeah I am scared as hell, because I have never come to a point where I have to take a step back from what I thought was going to happen (and fought to happen honestly) and allow God to release me into a new season where I will be stretched in finding who I am in God more deeply and out of that will come ministry in the future. After my priorities get healthy and I can be in a place where I can stand on my own confident in who my God is and where He is taking me.

So scary time, but exciting time, because He sees the bigger picture and I am so short sighted its not even funny!!

KiKi bought a pretty dress!!

So, since Dublin is like fashion central! I figured that I could not leave without buying something pretty! So I bought a pretty dress. Also I was feeling kind of left out with Jen and Muss and Tina getting pretty Dublin dresses! So here it is in all its coral and brown glory. Haha!! Yay!